10th Teaspoon - Finding the Puzzle Piece that Fits
Have you ever done a puzzle and you were looking for that right piece that will fit? You are looking for a piece that is a blue sky with a little bit of clouds that will fit the piece that is already aligned in your puzzle. You have been looking for this piece for hours, no, not hours, but days, years even. Finally, you think you have found the right piece. You put the piece down, and then all of a sudden….pop. The piece pops up a little. You are thinking that this puzzle is old, it just needs a little finagling. So you push the piece down. Pop! Now you take some books, you are trying to make the piece stay down because dumbfounded, it has to be the right piece. But you know in the deepest recess of your being, this is not the right piece. And here is the crux…if you force this puzzle piece, none of the other pieces will fit as everything will be out of line. Sound familiar? You are not alone.
So many times we are looking for the right life partner, the right job, the right home, etc., and it becomes an arduous journey that begins to mentally wear on us. Then we have our fears come in….”what if I never find the right partner, I will be alone for the rest of my life” “I think this job will work for me, I am too old to look for a different job” “the house market is so competitive - I don’t need the inspection, we will make it work.” We start to compromise what we know in our heart of hearts when we are worn out and tired. Max Erhman said it best in his poem, “Desiderata,” when he said that “many fears are born from fatigue and loneliness.” What we cannot do is let our tiredness and frustration to dismiss truth.
The moment you do not honor the truth within, you will try to force the pieces of life to fit. That never works. When we force the pieces, we are not in sync with life. It is as if we are going against the current, because we are not trusting where the current is going. I remember talking to a friend who was going through a breakup. She was distraught. She, like many people, rarely connects to a person on a deeper level. So when she does connect, she does not want to let go because it is rare. I get it. She thinks she will not find the one she will truly connect to, since connection is so far and between for her. I asked her this, “a few years ago, did you know *Bob existed?” She responded with a no. I then said, “then you have no idea who exists out there for you now. Just because you would love to make Bob the right one, you know he isn’t. So I wonder who is waiting for you around the next corner?” I could she her dismay, but she held onto my words like a thread. Four months later, she went to a reunion, reunited with an old acquaintance, and is now married to the love of her life. You see, you just don’t know. If she tried to force Bob to fit in her puzzle, she would have missed out on the right fit for her.
So here it is, plain and simple, do your best not to force to fit what doesn’t fit in your life. I know it is hard - you may have been in a relationship for over 20 years, and the thought of letting go now is petrifying. I am not saying you have to let go, I am simply bringing you awareness to what may be holding you back from living a completely fulfilling life. It takes courage and strength to let go, and you will know when the time is right to do so. In the meantime, may you find peace along your life journey.